Entitlement the attitude of ingratitude

From Merriam-Websters
Main Entry: entitlement Function: noun Date: 1942
1 a : the state or condition of being entitled : RIGHT
b : a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract
2 : a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program

3 : belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

So this weekend I had a "session" with members of my family over something that I provide. The something is not critical as much as the attitude of the discussion. I pay for this service to be provided and ask nothing of those who enjoy the service. The reason for the definition above is because the other members involved in this "session" approached it from an attitude of an entitlement. The word entitlement did not even exist until 1942 and it grew from the "New Deal" programs. The closest term for entitlement before 1942 was "right" or "privilege"

Websters 1828

Right
5. Just claim; legal title; ownership; the legal power of exclusive possession and enjoyment. In hereditary monarchies, a right to the throne vests in the heir on the decease of the king. A deed vests the right of possession in the purchaser of land. Right and possession are very different things. We often have occasion to demand and sue for rights not in possession.
6. Just claim by courtesy, customs, or the principles of civility and decorum. Every man has a right to civil treatment. The magistrate has a right to respect.

Privilege
1. A particular and peculiar benefit or advantage enjoyed by a person, company or society, beyond the common advantages of other citizens. A privilege may be a particular right granted by law or held by custom, or it may be an exemption from some burden to which others are subject. The nobles of Great Britain have the privilege of being triable by their peers only. Members of parliament and of our legislatures have the privilege of exemption from arrests in certain cases. The powers of a banking company are privileges granted by the legislature.
a. He pleads the legal privilege of a Roman.
b. The privilege of birthright was a double portion.

So our "session" was not received well because the members of the family felt the entitlement or the right to the item in question. As the provider of the item in question I feel that the item in question is a privilege and not a right or entitlement. The attitude of ingratitude was made clear and I spent the remainder of the day feeling like I have "wronged" the members of the family.

My parents make and burn a significant chunk of change on a monthly basis. Their ability to manage well their funds is a bit lacking. I may not approve of there method of financial management but the reality is I have no "right" or "privilege" nor do I have an "entitlement" to their finances. As long as they are of sound mind and body it is theirs not mine. Should they choose to share, bless, give then I am ?entitled? to or have the "right" to but until then it is not mine.

I am often accused of being black and white. The only way to share something is if the "owner" chooses to share if the owner chooses not to share then it become an issue of stealing I have no right, entitlement, claim to that which is not mine. I should be thankful for receiving anything for which I did not have to give up something for.

Matthew 20:1-16 voices my perspective well. If I agree to work for a set wage then that agreement is between me and the employer. What the employer agrees to for the next guy is none of my business. I have no right or entitlement in this regard.

Let your Yes be Yes and your No be No

The 1828 edition of Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language has this to say on the word vow

2. A solemn promise; as the vows of unchangeable love and fidelity. In a moral and religious sense, vows are promises to God, as they appeal to God to witness their sincerity, and the violation of them is a most heinous offense.

OK so here goes today I celebrate my 26th year of marriage. My bride of 26 years and I went to dinner last night and spent some "quality" time together. With 4 children, a house, work and needs all around us a few hours out is quite an accomplishment.

As I look back over the 28 years I have known my wife I am struck by the fact that marriage is more than "just love". I believe love is the part that brings a guy and gal together. Love is that initial catalyst that causes a guy and gal to desire to be with the other. But love is often the first wound suffered as a result of a disagreement. It is those disagreements that cause us to realize the other person is just that a person. Not the intoxicating object we first encountered.

Then life happens and there are many opportunities to realize your mate is a real person with real needs, real issues, and real hang-ups. Your mate has positions, objectives, desires that are different than yours.

So here are two individuals who don?t agree on ?an issue? and love is the first injury. So what keeps a couple together? Well reflecting on the initial love that brought a guy and a gal together can help. I have found that being committed to the mate is critical for the marriage to survive the challenges of a life together.

In my humble opinion reflecting back on the initial commitment made on the day the couple takes their wedding vows. If you believe the 1828 Webster?s definition then the breaking of the wedding vow is "a most heinous offense."

The vow of commitment:

" I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

Is as important or more important then the feeling of love that initially brought a couple together. The commitment is the work that makes the ?feeling? one of joy.

So here we are coming down the home stretch. I celebrate 26 years of a commitment to my wife today. Yes I love her, and yes that love has been reflected upon during times of "troubles" More than that I have sworn a vow of commitment that says I will at all cost hold her above all others until death do us part.

It has been a great 26 years. Those 26 years have had their challenges. But I gave my word; I swore a vow before God and man that says I will commit myself to her. It isn't just love, it is work, fun, sadness, joy, and it is living life as a team. Each year we team together we get a little better at it. So off we go on to year 27 as a couple and I am sure life will be lived this year. It will be nice to live it with my friend, my wife, my lover.

Do you believe that what your really believe is really real

The problem with truth is that the pursuit of truth by definition means work. In modern Christian circles the drive is for the feelings not for the truths. Groups gather, blocks get checked, people who are "different" get cast out and our "church" meets our needs. There is little thought on meeting the needs of others or verifying the claims of the church leaders. We truly are the dumb sheep in the parables. As long as we are fat dumb and happy we don't change. And when our comfort changes we whine and complain but we don't seek out a solution. Modern truth is easy someone famous says it is so therefore it must be. Like most things in the body of Christ truth requires work. Body life requires work. Knowing what you believe requires work and we are too happy being fat dumb sheep. If we are not willing to know the truth based upon facts then we will be swayed by anything that plays upon our feelings. But don't trust me on this. Get up off your back side and be willing to fight with fact that "what really you believe is really real.