So it has been a long time since I put anything in writing but today I felt it was time. My wife, daughter and youngest son have been gone for a week. It is now starting to get "too" quiet around here.
My wife is visiting friends and family back home. It is a place we greatly enjoy but it also a place where old wounds are opened anew. My wife called my parents a few times prior to arriving and even had other members of our family attempt to contact my parents and notify them of the soon to come visit. Phone calls were not answered and when my wife stopped by to visit my parents were not home.
To think a parent could dislike a child is not too unusual. There have been times I have not "liked" my children. But to dislike a child to the point of avoiding all contact is something I do not understand. I am so thankful the God I worship is not molded after my parents.
My parents apparent dislike for me has gone on for as long as I can remember and to this day I am not sure why. What makes me wonder the most is my parents insistence on passing their apparent hate for me to their children and grand children. My 12 year old son has done nothing but try and figure out who this person called "grand ma and grand pa" are.
My kids knew and know my wife's parents "grand ma and BIG grand ma (grand pa) " were and are still a part of the life of my children. My mother and father-in-law shared life with me and their grand kids as if they were family. Isn't that how it is suppose to be.
So my wife will begin the two day trip back home in two days and my parents could not be bothered to give up a little of their time to reconnect with a daughter-in-law and their grand children. Because of reasons unknown.
It has been many many months since my parents have called or initiated contact. I use to call on a monthly basis. I would get all the "news" most of it just belittling others then I would be passed off to someone in the room. I then tried quarterly contact, same thing, now it has been a year or so and same thing. My parents have become the "people we don't talk about or too". And for what ever reason they have only called me once this entire year, and that was to ask if I could help out my sister.
So I wonder if they are content with the "lack" of relationship. I wonder if they planned to push people away. I wonder if they even care that one of their own has given up trying to connect and be a part of their lives.
The title of this is Why Hate? From my perspective it profits no one. There is so little time to connect and find common ground. What a waste to leave this world with nothing but disdain for those around you. Their are folks I "dislike" but at the end of the day I would connect with them if they desired such, it doesn't create world peace but it does make life easier to live.
1 comment:
Dude, can we adopt y'all? Families are strange dynamics....wish I could explain it. My brother and sister don't speak to one another, but they both speak to me. All stems from my dad's death in 1992....and even my brother's kids (who are 37 and 31) refuse to speak to my sister. Brother still cares about sister, as sister had a stroke 6 yrs ago and I was the one to tell my brother. They find out about each other thru me, but refuse to touch each other's lives. A shame......so again I ask....can we adopt you as MY side of the family? I am quite overrun with DiBiasio's (as is evidenced in my FB friends list)....Thomas (NY) side is awfully hard to come by.......May 2010 be the best year yet....make it so, #1!!!!
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