Appearances

Things are often not as they appear. I had a conversation with my wife yesterday about the appearance of someone we both knew. And it occurred to me that we really do see in people things we want to see or are looking for.

When I was growing up I was often a victim of “appearances” that were not correct. On several occasions I was blamed for issues and actions that were conducted by one of my brothers. Some of them were masters at “ventriloquist goodness or badness” They would have done something, like playing with matches, and deflect blame to others, principally me. My mother saw what she wanted to see and looked for “truth” where she wanted and expected the truth to be.

I saw nothing wrong with the appearance of the acquaintance I am referring to, I am not really sure my wife did. But I am aware that my wife often “looks” for the subtle, subliminal and not immediately visible in several areas, and often finds them.

I like to take people at face value; yes that has left me high and dry. But never more than the first time. Several folks and family members have taken advantage of my unwillingness to look for the ugly but accept them at face value. They abuse the privilege of being accepted for who they “appear” to be. So the acquaintance my wife is referring to is for now what the eye sees. Hope that does not change, but I also will not go looking for the change. And if all goes well I won’t find it.