Stepping Out

I was in my senior year of HS and I could not wait to get out of the environment I was in. I was absolutely convinced that any change was better than the status quo. Life at home was problematic at best. The hostility between me and my mother had been relatively low for a few months. I knew that would not last and the cyclic escalation of hostilities would occur. True enough it did occur and I found myself once again living with friends who were “close” by because my mother had “thrown me out of the house”. That was not unusual as I had been “thrown out” a few times for not obeying to the complete letter of the law. Some of the reasons for being “thrown out” were because I bought and paid for my own car, or for that matter taken my driver’s license test and passed without approval. As a result of tensions running high I decided that I was leaving that environment on the first train smoking.

That first train happened to have U.S. Army painted on the side. I began seeking out recruiters in late February or early March. As I was only 17 years old at the time I was required by law to have the approval of my parent(s) and or guardian. When I approached my parents for approval they were all in favor and enthusiastically agreed to sign my enlistment papers. There was light at the end of a tunnel that had gone on for several years. So on 6 April 1981 the recruiter arrives at my house to “sign” the papers with my parents. The lull ended and my mother would have nothing to do with signing anything for someone of my ilk. I actually had to beg and bargain in front of an Army recruiter for her to sign. After way too much drama I had both my parents approval for enlistment in the army. The next day I went to the processing station and by the end of the day had an enlistment contract in hand for a departure date of 24 September 1981. There was much more dram to be experience during the last six months I would ever live with my family again but those are for another time. On 24 September 1981 I departed upstate New York with about $20 in my pocket and one suit case which had all my belongings and important papers. I was effectively no longer coming back home.

Recently one of my sons announced a desire to join the Marines. When he made the announcement he was within a month of turning 18 years old so there was no real need to be concerned with the required signature of the parents. That said if I was convinced he was absolutely sure this was the best thing for him I would have signed. I would not have made it an opportunity for drama. He turned 18 years old and enlisted in the Marines. He is convinced it is the best for him and I cannot debate the issue, its his path to choose. He knows my thought that is the best I can do. He will go to basic training in Jan 2012. I have been quietly but intentionally pushing him out the door for some very important reasons. I enlisted with $20 to my name. I would like my son to enlist with 6 months of employment to his name. I left with nothing or no reason to return home. I would like my son to have a reason and to feel welcome to return home as his soon to be busy schedule permits.

One son has chosen a professional career as an electrical engineer, one daughter is choosing an education in forestry, one son is choosing to wear the nations uniform and to serve this country. All are great choices and all are good for the individuals. I welcome their departure from my house as they pursue their own goals and objectives. I also plan on being a soft landing should they need it. I hope as they leave they do so because they feel well prepared and able to strike out on their own. Not because they can no longer tolerate their current circumstances.