You just never know.

The last few years have been some of the most challenging in my life, in many ways. Growing up I had many challenges many but not all were as a result of parents frustrated and no knowledge of how to regain control of themselves or the situation. Those were challenging years and once I left home I moved into more challenges but those were not the same and not as bad because I “chose” the path I was on.

In January this year I found myself frustrated again, or rather challenged again. I had some issues with lack of feeling on my face and after much pushing from family and friends I went to the doctor. After much poking, prodding, scanning, chemical analysis I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I did what everyone does. I got a second opinion. Again after much poking, prodding, scanning, chemical analysis I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. So over the course of the last year I have gone to the doctors and done as I was told to do. During my last visit I was told things are not “better” not good news. I now have to take injections of betaseron a drug from a family of drugs used to fight cancer. The intent of the drug is to lower the body’s immune system. So side effects are flu like symptoms, oh joy. My issue here is I have little choice on this. MS has no cure, no known cause, no guaranteed solution. Worse still the disease is not the same for all effected. In fact is it almost unique to the individual sort of like a disease thumb print, only one. One of the things that also became apparent at the last session with the doctor is I have had some noticeable loss of strength in the left side of my body. I was surprised and frustrated at the finding. So this week I started running and exercising again. I had stopped for several reason one of which was pain. It appears pain is a symptom of MS. So now I am running and doing strength training again and doing it with my pain. What a pain.

I have health insurance which is a good thing. This medication has to be taken every other day for the rest of my life. Near as I can figure a months’ supply is around $5000. There are still some things I need to change just to meet the doctors’ requirement. They too will cost dollars.

I am forcing myself to make lots of changes. I am trying to walk away from the frustrations of my house, on occasion my family, and my work and just relax. I am forcing myself to get back into a routine of exercising and taking care of my body. This thing called MS which no one can define for sure has reinforced in me that “you just never know” what tomorrow will bring and it is best to make the most of today.